In this blog post, Butterfly Heart and Red Moon Warrior will share their personal stories along with the genesis of their Wild Woman names. Be sure to check out the Afterword at the end entitled: Finding YOUR own Wild Woman name.
Butterfly Heart’s Story
It was 2001 when I first heard the lovely alliterative phrase: ‘Wild Women Weekend’ quietly whispered to me by a work colleague as we emerged from a business meeting. At the time, I managed a Marketing Services department for a Toronto Financial Services company. Though demanding, I loved the challenge and rewards of juggling projects, deadlines, clients, and teams, all the while feeling like I was making a difference and delivering my personal best. Internally though, I had been experiencing a longing, a loneliness of sorts that was both confusing and unsettling. Something I couldn’t name was missing in my life. Mother of three, married, working at a fulfilling career, in my late 30’s, I was enjoying a full and rewarding life. Why then, did I think something was missing?
So, when my work colleague Carolyn (who, later I would know as: Gypsy Moon Dancer) leaned in after that meeting and whispered: “Want to join a group of Wild Women for a Wild Women Weekend to learn, create, and explore?” I was speechless. I will NEVER forget Carolyn’s words, where we were standing, and how I felt. Goosebumps rippled along my arms and neck. Silent for a beat, I quietly uttered my response, reverential, grateful, with heart beating certainty: “Yes. Please.”
Not long after that, I found myself enroute to my first Wild Women Weekend. Friday after work, car packed, tunes playing, driving to a place called Shangri-La where upon arrival, I joined some 13+ women who I had never met before. Together we dove into an agenda of exploration and learning. It was a frenzied, flurried weekend with little sleep filled to overflowing with tears, laughter, talking, listening, creating, and teaching (each with our own assigned roles). All of this was underscored by this awesome, unbridled feeling of freedom to explore our own limitless selves with like-minded strangers. For me it was like a safe haven of anonymity to examine the possibility that this was my ‘something missing.’ Sunday afternoon I drove home in a wondrous haze of reminiscing and contentment, feeling changed and more fulfilled than when I arrived. “Were these my people?” I wondered. I resolved to find out.
Six months passed and another gathering was scheduled. This time we assembled at Gypsy Moon Dancer’s (GMD) place to plan for 2002. And, for those of us who didn’t have one yet, we were invited to find our Wild Woman (WW) name. I was nervous, excited and a bit skeptical about finding mine. Could it be out there waiting for me? Where? How will I know? Joined in a circle ceremony, those who had a WW name declared it out loud to the group. Those of us not yet with one, were urged to let go, wait, and remain open to our name coming to us in its own time.
After GMD’s gathering, we each returned to our separate lives. Some of us had WW names while others like me, were still searching, waiting, looking, and listening for a sign. Just a few weeks later, at a family barbecue, my skeptic self met the sign! Amid the chatter, laughter, and kids running about the back lawn, a butterfly landed on my left side, directly on my heart. I couldn’t believe it. A butterfly. On my heart. Seriously surreal. My name had arrived: Hello Butterfly Heart! That was twenty-one years ago. I’m still Butterfly Heart. The name resonates as strongly as it did that summer of 2002.
Later in 2002 we gathered at what we fondly call: “The Cold place” and there I got to know Star Woman and Sacred Whale Heart (later named Donkey Soul Sister). The following year in 2003 we moved to a permanent gathering space at what I will call: ’The Warm Place’ (Thirteen Moons - later to be known to us as HQ – WW Headquarters). There I met our nurturing host and reluctant (at first) WW – Red Moon Warrior. Little did I know that we four would emerge to be ‘Four Wild Women.’ Our story evolved as Star Woman so magically shared in her May blog post and so it continues. It’s been an enriching journey that has deepened my relationships both within and outside the group. We are four Wild Women sisters now. Strangers no longer. Our lives richly woven and connected. These women have witnessed my lowest lows, sorrows, and defeats, and my greatest joys and triumphs. I’m wiser and feel my life is even more wondrous because of my Wild Woman journey, because of them, because of US: 4WildWomen. My people.
Red Moon Warrior's Story
I was the last of the group to become an official Wild Woman. It happened because the woman (Gypsy Moon Dancer) who had originally brought these gals together was seeking a new home for their annual gatherings. To ease the preparations involved in their intensive creative/spiritual wild weekends, it was decided to find a place that offered food service so attendees would not have to worry about that aspect of their time together and could focus more completely on the tasks at hand. My limited space also meant that only the really committed would be able to be accommodated.
A date was booked at Thirteen Moons in August of 2003 but before the gathering, GMD decided she could no longer be involved. In spite of her departure, the group chose to meet here anyways and carry on the traditions that had been established in their previous gatherings. I had already made it clear that all night sessions were not encouraged. I lived on the premises and valued a good night’s sleep, especially when I was working. The group seemed relieved to have that level of intensity - that had become de rigueur during their previous weekends- toned down. I offered them three things most women love and appreciate –delicious food prepared for them, someone else to clean up and do the dishes, and sleep.
During that first weekend here, I was surprised to be invited to join them, though up to that point it was a fluid and open group and I had met a couple of them at other workshops here. I was indeed hesitant, especially with all the crafting that seemed to be a part of every teaching that each of them was responsible for. And I was so intimidated by the talent they all seemed to have. I still am. As well, I had the added responsibility of being the host, so my attention was divided even when I had staff hired to help out. I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried at a few of the creative activities; I still don’t enjoy beading. My creativity was and still is most comfortably expressed in the kitchen, with food.
In addition to their Wild Women names, each attendee had a name that referred to their primary role for the weekend. This title could change from year to year depending on what role each person took on. Obviously, I became Woman of Nurturing and maintained that role until we had settled as a group of four and started travelling away from Wild Woman Headquarters every second year. We also had Woman of Memories, Woman of Destiny, Woman of Medicine and Ceremony, Woman of Solitude, Woman of Teaching.
I was determined to have my Wild Woman name before the next annual gathering. Fortunately, it was a fairly simple process, as it should be. I considered what was important to me and pondered meaningful words to embody that. First, I looked up the meaning of my first name, which means “warrior” so that was an obvious part of it. We had a lovely red retriever, Red Dog, who had adopted us shortly after we moved in here. He quickly became the Wild Woman mascot and insisted on being in every Wild Woman photoshoot, so understandably I chose Red to represent him. Since I was born in July, my birth sign is the moon, and partially where Thirteen Moons originated and where all this magic began for me. Thus, Red Moon Warrior was born.
I met a lot of impactful and inspiring women over the 19 years I ran the retreat business. However, without a doubt, this group was the blessing that keeps on giving and still has me feeling that they were the reason that I landed here and began doing what I felt inspired to do.
I love that this place is considered Wild Women Headquarters although I equally love travelling elsewhere with the other 3 Wild Women. No matter where we go or what we do, we can expect it to always be a deeply meaning connection where we learn a little be more about ourselves and each other even after all these years.
AFTERWORD
Finding YOUR own Wild Woman Name
Why choose a Wild Woman name?
We each have birth names. These names may have significance and meaning for those who named us. They are significant for each of us too. We attach our identities and derive a sense of connection and belonging to our names. But, at the crux of it: others named us. A Wild Woman name is a name you search, assign, or adopt for yourself. To it you may ascribe your values, feelings, identity, dreams, wishes, and goals. To it you may connect your soul self, your authentic self.
How to choose a Wild Woman name:
1. There’s no set formula. So do it your way. Consider the following:
Do you have a blank space to fill in your birth name? Perhaps DSS’s revelation that she was searching for her middle name speaks to you.
Were you born with your WW name? Use your birth name’s meaning as Star Woman did.
Research your name, place, and spirit animal/mascot as Red Moon Warrior did.
Look for, search, or wait for a sign as Butterfly Heart did
Brainstorm or meditate on the intention of: ‘finding my wild woman name’ gathering together names and signs and symbols that speak to your Wild ‘Woman’-ness.
Draw a card from a favourite deck inviting your Wild Woman name to show herself.
2. Once your WW name is revealed: try it on, use it, wear it, write it down. Live with it.
3. Remember: you can always change your WW name. As you are ever-evolving and
changing, your name is a reflection of you and where you are on your journey … you may want to change your WW name, once, twice, or more. It’s your WW name. Your journey.
We invite you to share yours in the comments or, if you prefer to remain more private about that, you can do it here.
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